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Expert Advice from Jessica Faust |
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EXPERT ADVICE ARTICLES BY JESSICA FAUST
Printed in RT BOOK REVIEWS BOOKclub Magazine
| The First Three Pages, #8 | | The First Three Pages, #1 | | The First Three Pages, #2 | | The First Three Pages, #3 | | The First Three Pages, #4 | | The First Three Pages, #5 | | The First Three Pages, #6 | | The First Three Pages, #7 | | The First Three Pages, #9 | | The First Three Pages, #10 | | The First Three Pages, #11 | | The First Three Pages, #12 | | The First Three Pages, #13 | | The First Three Pages, #14 | | The First Three Pages, #15 | | The Query Letter, #1 | | The Query Letter, #2 | | THE QUERY LETTER, #3 | | THE QUERY LETTER, #4 | | THE QUERY LETTER, #5 | | THE QUERY LETTER, #6 | | THE QUERY LETTER, #7 | | THE QUERY LETTER, #8 | | THE QUERY LETTER, #8 | | THE QUERY LETTER, #9 |
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Category: WRITER'S TIPS
THE QUERY LETTER, #1Agent Jessica Faust is back for her first analysis of query letters from aspiring authors. To begin this new venture, she offers us a look at a query letter from now-published author Angie Fox. The letter was written several years ago but clearly shows why Fox has found a huge following among paranormal fiction lovers. If you're ready to start submitting your work to agents and editors and have a query
letter you'd like Jessica to analyze, send it to: Faygie@RomanticTimes.com.
Letter No. 1
LETTER FROM JESSICA:
Those who read my blog might have followed the series I did back in January on the query letters of my clients. Five brave clients agreed to allow me to dissect and critique their queries for all to read. Well, we thought it was such a good idea that we would carry that over to this introductory column. I'm going to kick off the query critiques by taking a look at the letter I received from Angie Fox. While some blog readers might recognize it, you'll also see that I've gone into more detail in this critique than I did on the blog.
Angie submitted her query via e-mail in August 2007, and because she put her amazing title, The Accidental Demon Slayer, in the subject heading, she immediately grabbed my attention. I opened it on the spot and requested more material. Ironically, at about the same time, an editor from Dorchester was making Angie an offer (a request from a contest Angie had entered). In fact, I think less then a few hours after I asked to see the proposal, Angie e-mailed me back to say she had an offer. Of course that meant I changed my request from a partial submission to the full manuscript, read it as quickly as I could and offered representation.
We've been more than delighted with the success of Angie's debut novel. The Accidental Demon Slayer (and yes, it's rare that a publisher keeps the original title) was published in 2008 and spent two weeks on the New York Times extended list. We are equally excited for the upcoming Dangerous Book for Demon Slayers.
So here's the letter that launched Angie's career, as well as my comments, why it worked for me and why it might not have worked for others.
Dear Ms. Faust,
Straight-laced preschool teacher,
Lizzie Brown, never lies, never cusses and doesn't really care much for
surprises. (1) When her long-lost Grandma Gertie shows up on
her doorstep riding a neon pink Harley Davidson wearing a "kiss my asphalt" T-shirt and hauling a carpet bag full of Smuckers jars filled with roadkill magic, Lizzie doesn't think her life could get any stranger. That is, until her hyperactive terrier starts talking and an ancient demon decides to kill her from his perch on the back of her toilet. (2)
Lizzie learns she's a demon slayer, fated to square off with the devil's top minion in, oh about two weeks. Sadly, she's untrained, unfit and under attack. Grandma's gang of fiftysomething biker witches promises to whip Lizzie into shape, as long as she joins them out on the road. But Lizzie wants nothing to do with all this craziness. She simply wants her normal life back. When she accidentally botches the spell meant to protect her, she only has one choice -- trust the utterly delicious but secretive man who claims to be her protector.
Dimitri Kallinikos has had enough.. Cursed by a demon centuries ago, his formerly prominent clan has dwindled down to himself and his younger twin sisters, both of whom are now in the coma that precedes certain death. To break the curse, he must kill the demon behind it. Dimitri needs a slayer. At long last, he's found Lizzie. But how do you talk a girl you've never met into going straight to hell? Lie (and hope she forgives you). Dimitri decides to pass himself off as Lizzie's fated protector in order to gain her trust and guide her towards this crucial mission. But will his choice to deceive her cost them their lives, or simply their hearts?
The Accidental Demon Slayer is an 85,000-word humorous paranormal. I'm a member of RWA and the partial manuscript placed first in the Windy City RWA's Four Seasons contest.
The judge for that contest, Leah Hultenschmidt of Dorchester Publishing, has just requested the full. As an advertising writer, I've won multiple awards for my work in radio dialogue. (3)
I would be happy to send you the complete manuscript. Thank you for your consideration and time.
Sincerely,
Angie Fox Gwinner
(e-mail address included here) (4)
JESSICA'S COMMENTS
One of the reasons I'm glad we're starting the query-letter critiques with this letter is that I think it's one of the more perfect query letters I've seen. Yes, the pitch paragraphs could probably be shortened to two at the most, but it works as is, possibly because Angie's voice shines through in each paragraph. What I also like about this query is that it is different from the format you so typically see in queries. Angie put what is usually used as the introductory paragraph (the paragraph with title, genre and word count) at the end rather than in the beginning. This way she hit the ground running and launched right into her fabulous pitch. (1)
When reading this I think, and suspect, I requested more material after reading just the first paragraph. (2) While it's great that Angie added the other two -- and if you look carefully this reads very close to the back-cover copy you see on many romances -- she could have gotten away without them. Again, the key was voice. She jumped right in, and I knew I liked her voice. Not only that, but she showed me this was a humorous paranormal. I actually chuckled when reading her first few sentences.
The other thing that I really like about Angie's letter is her bio paragraph. (3) She didn't need to mention a lot, but did get in the key points.
Mentioning you are part of a critique group or writing group like RWA helps to give agents an insight into your knowledge of the industry and shows us that you're dedicated enough to your craft that you're working to learn about the business and network with other writers.
Mentioning her success in contests shows me that others are also acknowledging her work and, of course, the requested full is a big plus. If I were her, though, I might put that at the top of the page. This is unique and helps her rise above the pack. Why bury it at the end?
You might notice that Angie only included her e-mail address. (4) This is fine, but I would suggest also including your phone number. You just never know when an agent would prefer to call, and you always want to make it as easy on those agents as possible.
I think by reading this letter and knowing what the subject line said you can see why I immediately jumped in and read this with enthusiasm, and why readers have fallen in love with Angie's book as well.
I'm looking forward to critiquing more query letters, especially from those of you who are getting ready
to pitch agents. One thing I want to remind you, though: Don't be afraid to be different. There is no cookie-cutter approach to queries.
TIPS FOR WRITING QUERY LETTERS
VOICE Let your voice shine. The most important part of your query letter is your voice. This is what will grab an agent's or an editor's attention before anything else.
CONTACT Contact information. I hate to point out the obvious, but contact information is important. Don't forget, at the very least, your e-mail and phone number (even if you are e-mailing the letter).
BIO While a bio should be included, it doesn't have to be long. Simply letting an agent know a little bit about who you are can help grab her attention in some small way beyond just the book.
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