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Expert Advice from Jennifer Madsen |
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EXPERT ADVICE ARTICLES BY JENNIFER MADSEN
Printed in RT BOOK REVIEWS BOOKclub Magazine
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Category: MOTIVATION
ARE YOU DONE YET? -- OR, HOW TO LET GO AND SUBMIT THAT STORY Before we get started, you all may notice that
this column isn't as wordy or comical as usual. Simply put, it's because this chapter of the journey -- the revision of my first 75 manuscript pages -- is complete. Sounds great, right? Not.
I'm freaking out. I can't believe I am really going to do
it. I'm going to submit my book, at least part of it, to a real-life, knows-the-publishers, key-to-the-mint-holding literary agent. It's the moment I've dreamed of and yet, at times,
it feels like a nightmare. Self-doubt does not even begin to describe the emotion that has been clouding my writing-related judgment in the last couple weeks. The first third of the book is done. But is it good? Will it stand out? Does it engage from the get-go? I asked several people for their opinions on the finished pages before deciding not a one of them can be trusted. My friends are just so happy to read something that isn't written in cell phone text form. My mom, well, hello, she's my mom. She loves everything I write. You'd think my freelance editor would be my most reliable source, but then again, I am paying her. See? I've gone nuts. If I had been thinking clearly last month, I would have included my e-mail address so you all could weigh in, unbiased, on what you thought of my story.
My biggest fear in the past has been that I wouldn't know when I was done with the story. It seems there is always a word to be changed, a comma to be added, a character to be fleshed out. That I wrote last month's column as I was still editing the section which I had previously thought was finished ... well, it worried me. Luckily, that portion hasn't changed since, and I managed to ride that editing wave
well into the next few chapters.
Then I hit a wall, not writing for days.
I stared.
I doubted.
I deleted.
I've discovered that this is my natural flow when editing. Hitting a wall happens for me every couple of weeks. I'd been using cake and Dr Pepper to break through it. Now that I've given up cake, I've switched over to Diet Pepsi Max. The ginseng gives me a much-needed boost. Editing is definitely an endurance sport.
Right now, though, there is only one reason excitement wins out over butterflies in my stomach when it comes to this submission. Here it is: I am so sick of looking at these pages that last night I could have just chucked the whole thing in the trash.
I. Am. Done.
It is time for someone else to suffer through it. Wait, did I say suffer? I meant, experience the wonder, the joy and the laughter that is my inspirational chick lit novel, "Honor Thy Effort."
Unlike a year ago, when all my angst and fervor went into a query letter that was shot down six days later, there is surprisingly little build-up left to happen for this submission. I've ridden an emotional roller coaster with more loops, twists and turns than the throw-up rides at an amusement park. At this point, I've experienced so many highs (like being contacted by a literary agent) and lows (realizing that if my characters suck in their breath one more time they will pass out) that completing this section of my novel and submitting it will simply be the next high, a peak in my writing career. I just hope it's not followed by "thanks, but no thanks," which would be a serious low. Really, I'd cry.
As calm as I may seem about all this, I think I'm just more ready than anything else. When you're standing on the brink of what you've worked for most of your life, it's surreal to say the least. At the same time, I am fully aware of how much rides on a single click of my mouse, which will send the culmination of more than 250 hours of hard work and 75 painstakingly painted pages shooting through cyberspace to land in the inbox of someone whose interest could rocket my career right out of this world.
Seriously, one click and my life will never be the same again.
Except that in so very many ways, it will be exactly the same. As soon as I send this section off, I will be right back to editing. When the literary agent calls to say that she loves it, when she says she can't wait another minute to read what happens next, I've got to be ready. As of now, I've not read a word beyond the original 75 pages in the past three months. I have no idea if any of the chapters to come will be salvageable given the massive, though necessary, changes I've made to the beginning. That is exactly why I thank God, literally, for the editor that I have. If anyone can help me through it, she can. And I will, of course, tell you all about it.
For right now, there's only one thing left to do.
Click. |
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