First and foremost, I am probably a “bad girl.” I mean, my last two blog posts were about horror and erotica, so draw your own conclusions. But when I stumbled upon Sheila Wray Gregorie’s recent nonfic book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, I was very intrigued by both the subject matter and the sleek cover. I never thought there could be such a thing as a Christian sex guide, and before this book, I figured such a guide would only contain one sentence: Don’t have sex until you’re married. But this guide goes beyond that to explore the complex dynamics behind a healthy, happy (and yes, married, heterosexual) sex life. From intimacy issues to the importance of communication and even the not-so-dirty deed itself, this book covers all the bases when it comes to Christian marriage, love and sex. I was so pleasantly surprised by The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex that I’ve decided to share 10 topics this book covers that I wasn’t expecting.
PLEASE NOTE: THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL CONTAINS AN EXPLICIT, FRANK DISCUSSION OF SEX AND SEXUAL ACTS.
- Anal sex. I feel like “God” and “Anal” are two words that should never cross paths. But the author does touch on the subject, albeit briefly. She believes that although the Bible doesn’t explicitly forbid the act (making it clear that the Bible’s mention of “sodomy” is, in her opinion, in regards to homosexual relations), this is something couples should be cautious about trying.
- How to have an orgasm. Gregorie makes it clear that sex isn’t just about making babies. She clearly, accurately describes what orgasms feel like for those not in the know, and gives instruction on how females can achieve what she calls “the big O” with aid from their husbands. I was delighted to see the author focusing on how women can gain physical pleasure during sex and admired her upfront, to-the-point discussion of orgasms.
- The idea that sex is not shameful. In fact, Gregorie believes that women thinking sex is shameful is what she calls a “bad girl idea,” and believes “sex is truly a beautiful gift” that should be enjoyed by women and stresses that “there is nothing wrong with sexual feelings.” Couldn’t have said it better myself!
- Different positions. Missionary isn’t the only way to spread the love, and this guide offers a slew of other ways to get creative in the bedroom. For the most part this book encourages experimenting, emphasizing that couples should communicate their sexual desires and speak up about what feels good and what doesn’t. The author mentions a variety of positions and gives the pros and cons of each, allowing readers to get a better idea of what might suit their relationship.
- Birth control. Yup, it’s in here! The author mentions several different options, including Natural Family Planning and the Fertility Awareness Method, which many Christians may already be familiar with. However, the author also includes the pros and cons of using condoms and hormonal methods, such as pills. Her opinions on birth control aren’t only faith-based, and she provides many practical reasons Christian couples may choose to use condoms, pills or other methods.
- Sex toys. Again, like anal sex, this book doesn’t exactly advocate the use of sex toys, but I was surprised the topic was mentioned at all. The author injects her own personal opinion that sex toys aren’t always a good addition (she does make it clear that it depends on the sex toy — vibrators and large insertables are a no-no) because they create unrealistic expectations for women, and men can’t compete. While I don’t exactly agree with her, I do see where she’s coming from.
- It’s not just about P in the V. When discussing what to do if you’re on your period but still want to be intimate, Gregorie reminds readers that “he can focus on other parts of your body rather than your vagina.” The guide includes sections on oral sex, foreplay and other forms of intimacy that don’t involve intercourse, making it clear that the author believes sex is something to be enjoyed, and not just for procreation.
- Lingerie. Gregorie stresses several times that women should strive to be confident when it comes to their bodies. She believes lingerie is a way for women to boost their self-esteem in the bedroom and help new wives overcome their anxiety about being fully naked in front of their husbands. The author says, “you’ll likely feel far more confident in something — even if it’s barely anything – than you will naked. So bring something cute.”
- Sexy photos. While Gregorie makes it clear that she believes porn is wrong, and detrimental to a marriage, but if you’re lusting after each other’s bodies and no one else’s, this is okay. She states, “ … It is perfectly okay to love looking at each other’s bodies and to become aroused at what you can do together.” However, Gregorie suggests that couples be cautious about taking x-rated photos, as no one else (such as children) should see them.
- Statistics. To back up her claim that good girls do indeed have better sex, Gregorie provides some statistics in the back of the book, compiled from studies she had done. She compared the sex lives of Christian women versus non-Christian women, and, surprise, her study backs up her claim. Although I liked that she included the statistics, it may have been more convincing if she would have referenced research done by outside sources.
You can pick up your own copy of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregorie, in stores now. And if you are interested in learning more about faith-based reads, you can visit RT’s Everything Inspirational Page!