Welcome to “Bitten” episode two, “Prodigal,” where the previouslies recap the entire first episode in case you didn’t read mine.

Returned to Stonehaven (very stone, not so haven), Elena has a chilly reunion with Clay. We flash back to four years ago, when they walked through the same gates. Elena was adorably, neurotically, excited to “meet the family.” “Darlin’, I got you,” a marginally less creeper Clay promised. In the now, Elena and Clay circle and snark. Unresolved sexual tension? Nah, just tension. “I’m here because a wolf needs to be tracked,” she insists. “I’m not here for us.” (Famous last words. This is a naked show.) Clay can’t help but be annoyingly overprotective. How can you tell Elena’s not havin’ it? She ignores his offer of food! She’s much happier to see Pack Alpha Jeremy. (There are hugs!) They discuss the threat from the murderous mutt wreaking havoc in Bear Valley, and Jeremy wants to send Elena and Clay out tracking. “I’d rather go with the local psychopath,” she says. “You forget, darlin’, I AM the local psychopath,” drawls Clay. (Local to where? Hipster Williamsburg?)

Elena and the local psychopath

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In Toronto, Logan and his girlfriend Rachel run into Philip, and an awkward conversation about the werewolves’ “cousin in an accident” cover story ensues. Rachel, less gullible than Phil, realizes something’s up. Back at Stonehaven, Elena’s in her old room unpacking (but not unPacking) and comes upon a ring in a box. (Spoiler alert: This is a wedding ring.) Elsewhere, the babyfaced murderous mutt zeroes in on a new victim — fortunately, the burly bartender cock-blocks any murdering. Meanwhile, Nick and Antonio eavesdrop on locals and meet the lady sheriff, who reveals that another girl is missing.

Fantasy Clay

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Soft focus and white light cue up a fantasy … and, my friends, it’s hella sexy. Clay climbs into bed with Elena, shirt hanging open and framing bare chest. The camera lingers on his wedding ring. And his mouth on her stomach. And his fingers going below her county line. (Whoo-hoo! Get it, girl!) As Clay whispers Elena’s name, it turns into Nick waking her up. In bed next to her. Naked. (Toldja this is a naked show.) Apparently catching up in the nude is totes normal for the Pack. “Run along, little pup, I have to get dressed,” says Elena. “Little pup?” scoffs Nick. “Have you seen the bone I can bury?” (I can’t even … LOL!)

Guilty Elena calls Philip. It’d be sweet if it weren’t so obvious. Kinda like Clay lurking outside her door and eavesdropping. She notes he didn’t come after her when she left a year ago because it’s against his nature to disobey Jeremy. “And you think you know my nature?” Clay counters. Elena just clicks away in a pair of cute high-heeled boots, down to a seriously awesome breakfast spread. Elena bemoans not being able to eat like this as a human woman. (There’s a deep social commentary to be made here, but I want pancakes.) Elena’s ready to get tracking over with, but Jeremy suggests she reread her old mutt files while the guys “rest up.” What the kids actually do is spar in the backyard! “Nice move, Cobra Kai,” says Nick. “Looks like someone’s been waxing off too much in New York,” Elena cracks. (I’m ‘shipping it. A+) Then, Clay shows up, sporting a tight henley — which he quickly strips off (we thank you, TV gods, for this bounty). He and Nick rassle. Jeremy and Tony affectionately watch from a window while discussing mutt-hunting options.

Nick and Elena getting their Karate Kid on

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Later, Elena hits the Stonehaven library, so viewers can get some Pack exposition … like how women can only be bitten werewolves and seldom survive the process. The roadie werewolf whose name we still haven’t heard (aka “Cannon Fodder”) joins her. And, lo, we learn his name is Pete, and Jeremy saved his life. Elena reveals she left because she killed a man named Jose Carter. Pete tells her pretending to be human is just as dangerous as killing. “The wolf won’t stay down very long,” he warns. On cue, the mutt strikes again — attacking a little boy.

Elena shares her Wall o’ Suspects with Jeremy, including a mutt named Zachary Cain and Jeremy’s psycho father, Malcolm, whom Jeremy thinks is dead (which means he’s probably alive). Then, Logan finally arrives from Toronto and Jeremy sets out tracking assignments. The Pack spreads out across Bear Valley. Elena goes into an alley to change while Nick and Clay just whip off their shirts right there. Wolf Elena does not take kindly to being petted by Clay! (Faux paw, anyone?) The trio finds the mutt’s lair, thanks to Elena’s mad skills, and shift to human to investigate.

 

Underwear shmunderwear. Americans, feel free to weep, because in the Canadian feed Clay is full-on butt nekkid when he walks into the mutt’s lair. Elena realizes the mutt smells “different.” Afterward, Elena is still shift-shy, so she does it alone —  painfully. Too bad a couple of teenage boys see her in wolf form. Back home, she concludes that the mutt is a stranger to the Pack. A mutt being “made indiscriminately” is a huge danger to their way of life.           

Jeremy doesn't care about your issues.

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Clay worries about Elena not being able to shift comfortably. She dismisses his concern and his hands on her. (He’s been an alphahole since 2001, before it was cool.) Then, Jeremy tells Elena he needs her to stay and hunt, but she refuses. We flash back to Elena offing the skeevy Jose Carter to keep the Pack safe. (She ripped out his heart. Not in the Disneyfied Once Upon a Time way.)  “I lost my humanity,” she tells Jeremy, calling herself a “thing.” “That ‘thing’ is what you are now,” says Big J of her existential crisis. Elena is ready to go back to Toronto when the Pack discovers the little boy’s body on their property … and human hunters and their dogs pick up the scent.

In conclusion, RT's DJ has a message for Clay:

Tags: RT Daily Blog, TV Recap, Paranormal/Urban Fantasy
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