In Bitten 1.4, “Grief,” it’s time to round up the mutts and show off your butts! Wait, the latter is every week …
The Pack gathers at Stonehaven to drink a toast to Poor Dead Pete as a motley wolf wanders in the woods. A taunting howl interrupts the Pete lovefest, and the Pack members split off in pursuit. Why are they running as humans? Limited CGI budget? Who knows? In any case, Elena finds Pete’s jacket hung as a “nyah-nyah.” “Tonight we mourn for Pete, tomorrow we hunt,” intones Jeremy.
In the morning, Elena and Logan angst over coffee. “The Pack’s rule is being challenged,” notes Logan. Elena’s all “Grrr!” Logan, who should charge for these off-book therapy sessions, tells her to get her wolfie frustrations out before returning to Toronto. Elena continues her Grrr Tour with Jeremy, who is scattering Pete’s ashes in the woods. We learn that Elena’s parents died when she was five. The Pack’s her first real family since, but she insists it’s not what she wants. Despite Jeremy’s Zen Buddhist pep talk to the contrary … and her own rising bloodlust. Girlfriend might need to eat some Xanax-laced bunnies soon. Of course, she runs into Clay. “Easy. I come in peace,” he says, gingerly hugging her. Just when you think he’s not a creeper, he suggests working out her turmoil in the sack. When Elena shoots that down, he starts stripping and suggests a run.
No butts for you, America. Here is a smooth Canadian Clay rear.
In Bad CGI wolf form, Clay and Elena are slightly more playful, and they lope off for hijinks.
Meanwhile, in Bear Valley, a mutt changes from wolf to man and goes for a walk. And elsewhere in the woods, Jeremy meets up with the very astute Sheriff Karen for another status check. Can’t they do this over wine and tapas? Hopefully not too nearby, Clay and Elena wake up naked after a run, actually vulnerable enough to cuddle. Do we think they had wolf sex? Possibly. Clay even steals a kiss before Elena jerks away. They each get caught doing the Walk of Shame by Nick and Logan. Nick can’t help but accuse Clay of “frolicking” and “nuzzling.” That’s a damn lie, Nick! Or, you know, not so much.
Unnecessary Nuzzling. Ten-yard penalty!
Elena dresses and calls Philip, continuing to lie about the Stonehaven situation. The Balkan vodka campaign comes up again, so you know this will probably be important. (Or it’s Bitten’s Big Give: We all get vodka at season’s end!) Downstairs, Jeremy and Antonio reminisce about the old days with “mutt hunts.” Apparently, underneath Big J’s still waters is a slaughter-happy psychopath. “Let’s not let our grief … cloud the issue,” Antonio advises. They hug it out before the kids converge for a meeting.
Elsewhere, Sheriff Karen meets with her predecessor to ask about the Danvers family. Their local reputation? “Mafia, devil worship, sex cult.” At Stonehaven, Jeremy hands out tracking assignments. Of course he pairs up Clay and Elena. ‘Shipper much, Big J? Clena head off to the Bear Valley Diner to chow down and eavesdrop. It’s hilarious as some girls check out Clay and analyze their body language. Not so funny? It turns out the hunter who got in their faces last week is missing. Clay drops into his Christian Slater-Batman voice to subtly threaten his accuser and Elena catches and crunches the guy’s fist before he can land it.
Wherein Elena serves Clay some side-eye with their burgers.
In Buffalo, Antonio covers up for Poor Dead Pete’s permanent absence from roadie work. Up in Toronto, Philip’s sister asks about Elena’s whereabouts and sends terrible messages about body image and dieting — sucks not to have a werewolf metabolism, huh? The siblings boggle at Elena hiding her family from them. Back in Bear Valley, it becomes apparent that Clay is wearing Mom Jeans. (Take those off this instant, Clayton Danvers!) Clay and Elena scope out the Motor Motel, which strongly carries the scent of Murderous Mutt No. 2. Apparently the mutt has been using Axe to mask his scent. (LOL forever.) Far stupider is his scrapbook of victims. “Someone’s turning psychotic murderers into werewolves,” Elena realizes. They spy violent mutt Zachary Cain and the new guy confabbing in the motel parking lot … and then Karl Marsten shows up. Shit’s getting real, kids. Clay and Elena make a hasty exit, spraying Axe in their wake. Karl picks up their scent anyway.
In Toronto, Logan opens his door to mutt Daniel Santos. (No. Stop. Don’t do it, Logan.) Daniel and Logan have a creepily civil chat about current wolf events, with Daniel revealing that he was very much Pack back in the day. “Let’s talk about joining forces,” he suggests.
Group discount at the Motor Motel!
In upstate New York, the Pack realizes all of Cain and Marsten’s new mutt pals are prison escapees. It’s enough for them to authorize a full-on mutt hunt. Elena is all for it. They head, en masse, to the motel. Of course, it’s been booby-trapped. And the mutts left them presents: Pete’s finger and a note scrawled on the wall. “I’m coming for my scrapbook, bitch.” A+ for taxonomy but, dude, just buy another on Etsy …
Next week on Bitten: more mutts, more butts and Clena go rogue!