Can The CDC's Advice Help You Survive A Zombie Pandemic?

With Halloween just around the corner, there’s a new comic out that has just been published by the Center for Disease Control (CDC), which is getting us in the frightened frame of mind. Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic is the CDC's newest method of educating people about what resources are available and what type of provisions should be gathered in the event of a disaster — be it a zombie plague or something else entirely. Intrigued? You can download the comic for free here and then find out what RT’s Whitney and Morgan think of some of the CDC’s suggestions for zombie pandemic survival ...

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CDC Tip: Turn to the televised news, the CDC’s website and the radio stations for information regarding a zombie outbreak.

Whitney Says: If there are zombies walking among us, the first people to say anything will be on the Twittersphere, so I am heading there for up-to-the-minute news about where these fleshmunchers have shown up — and where they haven’t … yet. 

Morgan Says: Since my TV is always on, this will not be a problem for me!

CDC Tip: Gather up at least a three-day supply of food and water, a seven-day supply of medication (and a first aid kit), a battery or hand powered radio, your cell phone and charger, changes of clothing and maps of the area.

Whitney Says: This list is huge, and isn’t even the entire list of “necessary provisions”. I’d like to point out that in the event of a zombie pandemic, even if you have this much time to get everything assembled, how on earth would you carry all of this equipment if you had to move out? Unless you pull a The Walking Dead and take your mobile home, I just don’t see how you can easily carry all of that gear! 

Morgan Says: And that’s why Whitney isn’t going to survive the zombie attack. On the other hand, I think I'll be fine. I’ve been canning my own preserves, chopping my own firewood and practically killing my own meat since I was a little kid. (Thanks for making me self-sufficient, Mom and Dad!) So bring on the things you think I need, CDC, but I won't deny that I may make some judicious decisions about what isn’t making it into my bug out bag. Ha, I already talk like a survivor!

CDC Tip: Stay inside, away from hospitals, unless instructed otherwise ...

Whitney Says: Is there a polite way to say, “fat chance!” to the government? I guess not, but there’s no way I’m “bunkering down” in my tiny apartment. I’m getting the heck out of NYC as soon as there’s any sort of rumbling about a zombie invasion. I will hop in a car and head anywhere other than the city that has over 8,008,278 people living in it.

Morgan Says: Agreed! With over 8 million potential zombies running around, you better believe that I am going to the most lowly-populated area I can find. Fighting off an army of zombies impossible, fighting off a few dozen brainsuckers, no prob. 

CDC Tip: When instructed to abandon your home, head to a designated “safe zone” that will be set up and run by the CDC.

Whitney Says: No thank you! I’m not going to some “safe zone” that will pack any uninfected people together. That’s like making a Thanksgiving dinner for the zombies! I can just see them thinking, “For tonight’s feast I’ll have a little light meat, a little dark meat, and some of your delicious family pet on the side.” Veto. You will not find me at one of these spots. Instead I will try for survival on my own, in the company of any of my loved ones I can convince to come with me.

Morgan Says: See my above answer. Gathering in large groups is definitely a people buffet waiting to happen. 

Our Final Thoughts

Whitney Says: I’d like to point out that nowhere on that stupidly long list of necessary items does it say anything about self-protection! If I hear that zombies are roaming the country, I’m going to immediately procure a bow and several arrows. I’m not an archer by any means, but I think that having arrows, which you can make yourself if necessary, or retrieve and re-use, is probably a better idea than having a gun, which requires you to have a steady supply of bullets. 

Morgan Says: The CDC is definitely being stingy on the details about what exactly will take out zombies. Now, if I have learned anything from the hundreds of hours I have spent watching old movies, I believe the correct protocol is to sever their spinal cord or take off their heads. So I will forgo the arrows and guns and go straight to the chainsaw. Sure I would have to get kind of close to the monster to take it down, but have you ever seen a chainsaw in action? Those things are deadly … even to something that is already dead!

So we want to know: what will you do if the zombie pandemic occurs? Tell us in the comments below and be automatically entered to win our giant paranormal prize pack. For more coverage of all things supernatural and otherworldly, be sure to check out our Everything Paranormal & Urban Fantasy Page and our Everything Science Fiction & Fantasy Page!