Just in time for the much-anticipated Royal Wedding that will take place tomorrow, we bring you a special way to celebrate from romance author Christie Ridgway!
The Royal Wedding brings up dreams of frothy wedding dresses, deliciously silly hats, men in uniform and…a drinking game!
Those of us in the U.S. will have to set our alarms clocks or never go to sleep to be part of the festivities, so I’ve devised a way to enhance your viewing experience. You can either play the “Celebrate!” version with mimosas or bloody marys or play it safe with “Stay Awake!” substituting the caffeinated beverage of your choice. Don’t blame me if you can’t snooze until May 15th or if you pass out before the balcony-waving.
Take a swallow:
Every time you hear the phrase “modern monarchy.”
When the word “commoner” is used.
Every time a cheesy wedding souvenir is shown.
Double down if the refrigerator picturing the bridal couple appears on screen.
Add an extra shot of booze before your next sip if the Kate Middleton jelly bean is mentioned.
If you hear the number or any name of Henry VIII’s wives: Catherine, Anne, Jane, Anne, Catherine, Catherine.* (Down the drink if you can imagine yourself making the Tudor family felt dolls detailed here.)
*There is disparity in the spellings of the Katharines/Catherines. I took my cue from pbs.org.
Take two swallows:
If it’s reported that William won’t be wearing a wedding ring.
If something made with Legos appears on screen.
An embarrassing photo of Sarah, Duchess of York is shown.
Commentators share that Kate Middleton is allergic to horses.
You spy a what-were-they-thinking wedding guest hat. (Clearly, this will be the road to drunkenness or insomnia.)
Take two swallows and a bite of donut:
If Kate’s recent weight loss is mentioned.
Down your drink:
If wedding guest — and William’s ex — Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe is pictured and/or mentioned…because she deserves something with a name like that.
Refrain from drinking:
If Diana’s version of Elton John’s much-overplayed “Candle in the Wind” is mentioned or heard, because you’ll be throwing up in your mouth just a little.
Finish off the entire bottle of champagne:
If Colin Firth is mentioned or makes an appearance because…well, come on, it’s Mr. Darcy!
- Christie Ridgway
For more Royal Wedding-related coverage be sure to check back tomorrow for our list of must-read Royal Wedding Recent Releases!