Teen Girl Eschews Love Triangle, Chooses Herself

Photo of an open bottle of nail polish


Sixteen-year-old Oakvale High School junior Madyson Morrow instagrammed a picture of her toes poolside with the caption, “Alone at last!” The teen told us she’s completely over the back-and-forth between soccer star and class president James Leader and Link Masterson, who eschews all extra curricular activities except for drag racing and fist fights.

“Seriously, I couldn’t deal anymore,” Madyson told us as she painted her toe nails while reclining by the pool. “It was like, James needed me so he could win state, and then Link had all this family drama that he couldn’t handle and was like, throwing rocks at my window at 2 a.m. so we could make out to help him over his angst.” She rolled her eyes. “I mean, it was hot at first, but, like, hello? I had to take the SATs twice because that guy had no respect for my sleep schedule.”

After having to cancel on her besties three times thanks to various dude emergencies, Madyson decided she had had enough. “I mean, I missed helping Kady pick out her prom dress — and she seriously needed my help, cut outs are not her friend — because I was trying to make James feel better after he found I was texting Link. So, whatever, I’m going to prom stag. That hairy guy Xavier asked me, but no thank you. I’ll just dance with Kady’s date. She won’t mind.”

Madyson dismissed any suggestions she was “choosing herself,” a la Kelly Taylor on the late, great television show 90210. “Is that that show my mom likes? What’s with that guy’s hair, anyway?”

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