Authors aren't perfect, and writing a book isn't done in one flawless draft — just ask the editors! Today author Vicky Dreiling shares a peek at what we're calling bloopers, things her editor caught in the initial draft of her latest historical romance What A Wicked Earl Wants. Thankfully Forever romance editor Michele Bidelspach was able to offer the author constructive — as well as amusing — feedback. Just see for yourself:
I have the best job in the world. Really, I do. Who wouldn’t want to tell lies for a living? Better still, who wouldn’t want to create mega hunky heroes and pretend that you’re the gorgeous heroine who gets to kiss the duke, marquess, earl, or baron — take your pick — into the man of your daydreams. Sure, we authors whine a little (OK, maybe a lot) about deadlines, but truly this is one fantastic way to spend your days. I can say that with authority as I used to spend my days on conference calls discussing how to market servers and storage area networks. Sexy, right? Not even close. So you can see why I prefer making up hot fictional guys to my previous gig. No one had to twist my arm to sign on the dotted line of that publishing contract.
I truly felt I had all of the requisite qualifications to be a historical romance writer. For example, I’d done a lot of research about Regency England and studied craft. There is just one issue that crops up (repeatedly) in the first drafts of my books. It’s rather embarrassing when my editor points out that I am defying the laws of physics. Yes, friends, I have learned that it is impossible for the heroine to kiss the hero when he’s on the other side of the drawing room.
In all fairness, nobody told me that this new gig required knowledge as a stage director. So I looked up the definition of stage director. Here it is: someone who supervises the actors and directs the action in the production of a stage show.
Oh, that would be the fictional stage, the one I’m supposed to create for readers. Oops.
Below are some first draft bloopers from What A Wicked Earl Wants in italics for your entertainment. I imagine you will find my uber talented editor’s comments even more entertaining. Ta-Da!
Laura gasped and stepped back. “My lord, I am a respectable widow.”
Comment from my editor Michele: She was sitting in a chair. When did she stand?
She finished her moves and handed him the dye.
Comment from my editor Michele: I thought they were playing with dice.
She pointed at himself. “You safe from me?”
Comment from my editor Michele: Is she directionally challenged?
There is a golden one. Do you see my tail wiggling?
Comment from my editor Michele: I assume you meant the goldfish.
He tugged on the curl by her hip.
Comment from my editor Michele: That’s one long curl.
The door flew closed and Pembroke marched inside like a rooster.
Comment from my editor Michele: Really? Does he walk on water, too?
He climbed out of the carriage first.
Comment from my editor Michele: She was sitting on his lap. Did he dump her on the carriage floor when he stood?
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down to her toes.
Comment from my editor Michele: Is she touching them or is she on the floor?
Bell banged his fist on the table. “Spell it.”
Comment from my editor Michele: S-P-I-L-L.
Oops I did it again.
- Vicky Dreiling