Witches of East End Recap: 2.3 - "The Old Man and the Key"

All right, it’s time for more Witches! This week: some slightly confusing backstory and a shirtless (but bloody) Freddy! 

We start with a flashback, the first of the season, if you can believe it. Jo, dressed in trippy white robes, comes through the portal, sans Freddy. Back in real time, Jo covers a sleeping Freddy with a blanket, discovering the symbol branded on his chest. Jo rushes to tell Wendy: it’s the king’s symbol, which Wendy exposits is the ultimate symbol of loyalty to bad granddad. Jo admits to having suspicions about her son. Never fear, our girl Wendy has plan!


You know you missed the crazy flashback wardrobe.

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Freya, looking smoking in a blue bustier — because that’s what I wear when I fly, sure — is ready to chase after her man. She’s saying goodbye to Ingrid, who’s packing. They remind us that Dash has powers, and Freya says “shit!” “Did she just say shit? They can do that?” my husband asks. Indeed! Ingrid wants to help Dash, Freya wants to leave him alone. Freya follows a packing Ingrid into the hall closet, where they discover a door. It’s locked. Jo lies badly, telling them it’s just leftover from the remodel. The girls clearly don’t believe her. “Why are you being weird?” Freya asks her mother, speaking for all of us.

Wendy sneaks into the morgue to check out Ingrid’s dead boss’s body. Sure! She casts a spell to wake him up — this is making me remember that show Pushing Daisies, which was so good, much better than that A&E computer show Lee Pace is on now. Sigh. Anyway! The dude awakens and starts spouting the same nonsense as before he died, about the king, and whatnot. He gets rowdy, so Wendy shuts him up again. She notices the symbol carved into his chest, snaps a pic and texts it to Jo.

Freddy comes in from a run and Jo oh-so-nonchalantly (as in, not at all) asks about grandpa, is he still in power? Freddy says lots of cities are in ruin, but he’s powerful and unquestioned by whoever’s left. But Freddy’s no longer loyal, Jo prompts. Not anymore, but he did love his gramps once. Jo wants to know why Freddy didn’t join them in the rebellion. This is beginning to sound a lot like a fantasy novel. Freddy said his gramps was lying to him, and when he found out the truth — it was too late.

Flashback! Jo has the portal key (remember how it made Wendy go nuts last season?!). The others want her to seal the opening even though Freddy hasn’t come through. On cue, Freddy hurls through the portal, but when Jo gives him the key to lock the door, he throws it back into Asgard, betraying them. Everyone’s mad, including Victor, though wasn’t Victor mad about Jo leaving Freddy behind last season, which was the reason for their estrangement? I’m not going to lie, this backstory is a little murky. I feel like we’re reading book three first, here.

Dash, meanwhile, has found his blackmailer on Facebook — watch out, social media will get ya, folks! — and Dream Killian is egging him on.

Wendy casts a locator spell — remember how they always used to do those on Buffy? Sniff! — to see if Freddy really did go to Freya’s bar to meet some friends, as he said. They see him steal a big kitchen knife, so maybe not. Wendy and Jo follow him to the forest, and as the spell stalls, Wendy actually says: “Let’s hit the refresh button.” You guys, this show.

A shirtless Freddy, for all you fans out there, is chanting in the woods. Except then he kills a bird for its blood. Not nice, Freddy! He vanishes.

Freya’s landed in Santo Domingo, filling me with travel lust. She finds Eva and Killian. Killian introduces Eva as his wife. Dun dun dun! (This would have been more dramatic had they not spoiled the reveal in the previews. PET PEEVE, you guys).

Freya’s having the most awkward drinks ever with the newlyweds. She lies and says she hired a private detective to find Killian, which makes her sound insane, which is awesome because girls as gorgeous as Jenna Dewan probably never have to stalk dudes. Pretty sure Channing was calling her the next day. Freya tells Killian she and Dash didn’t get hitched and ... We have our first longing glance of the season! I can’t believe it took three episodes! Freya tells Killian that our beloved bad ass Penelope is dead. She thinks Killian should come home. Eva is all about it and goes to pack.


Miss ya, Penny!

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Dash blows up his blackmailer’s car and calls to tell him about it. I like evil Dash! He’s much more interesting than last season’s cuckold.


Car goes BOOM.

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Ingrid visits Dash to come clean about their magical powers. But Dash gets a text from his blackmailer — and it’s coming from inside the house! Ah. Blackmailer wants more money, even though his dad is apparently loaded. Ingrid butts in, per usual, as Dash magic beats his blackmailer — to death. DUN DUN DUN. This show really is going there this season! I like it!

Dash lies that the blackmailer was a stranger and he was just trying to protect Ingrid from being shot. Ingrid fesses up and tells him that they’re witches — okay, fine, Dash is a warlock. She assures Dash he was born this way, Lady Gaga style. She offers to teach him.

Jo and Wendy confront Freddy. He swears he was just doing a cleansing spell to get rid of his scar because it reminds him of mean old grandpa. Also it didn’t work. Okay, so here’s a confusing part: Jo confesses that it was her fault that Freddy went back to Asgard with dear old grandpa. (But last season wasn’t it all about how she left him there? This explanation is kinda lame. Anyway!)


Freddy: Mom, do you think anyone will notice this plot hole? Nah!

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In her final flashback, Jo remembers Grandpa coming through and cursing them all. Wendy’s necklace turns green. As he turns to go back through the portal, Jo slices off her dad’s arm, freeing the portal key. She tries to keep Freddy from going back through the portal, but he leaves anyway. Jo says that it was her fault because she let go of Freddy’s arm, she wasn’t strong enough to save him? But Freddy says he went back on his own, which is clearly what happens in the flashback. TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS, am I being crazy?


Grandpa curses everyone. (And you thought your family was bad.)

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Victor’s home! Only just as he’s about to open the door, he hears something and goes to investigate.

Meanwhile, oh, NBD, Ingrid and Dash dump the body of the blackmailer. Sure! Ingrid casts a spell to keep the body hidden. Does her willingness here have something to do with the tentacle sperm?

Freya’s mooning outside. Killian shows up to thank her for finding him and also to stab her in the heart by saying how happy he is with Eva, the love of his life. Killian tells Freya all the stuff he said before the wedding wasn’t really about her. Freya lies that it’s okay.

Dash finds Killian at home, at first not realizing it’s actual Killian, not dream Killian. You guys, this show.

Ruh roh. Victor’s tied up in chains, bloody and beaten! Poor Victor!

And that’s a wrap. Until next week, friends.

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