Witches of East End Recap: Episode 2.7 — "Art of Darkness"
Last week we bid adieu to Tentacle Man, as well as my beloved Hudson. But never fear, another Buffy favorite comes to East End tonight! To the tape!
We start with shirtless Freddy for all you fans! He’s getting it on with a woman. But, ah, it’s time for a seizure! (Does it seem like these things only happen when he takes his shirt off? Maybe he should become a Never Nude, like Tobias Fünke.) Hearing the shouting, Jo runs in and sees Freddy’s hook up naked. Awkward.com. She also heals him right quick. Freddy comes to and introduces us all to his girlfriend Caroline. Hi, Caroline!
On second thought, this look probably wouldn’t work for this show.
Get this: Ava and Killian are still in bed. My goodness! Killian gets a glimpse of Ava as a haggard-looking old lady. The visage quickly vanishes.
Jo confronts our girl Wendy about keeping Freddy’s seizures secret. Wendy is on Freddy’s side now, and even knows Caroline! She also exposits that Tommy, who she’s apparently fallen in love with at some point off screen, is on a camping trip with his daughter.
Dash surprises Ingrid at work, she’s been avoiding everyone post-mandragora madness. Who can blame her? Dash invites her to a benefit, “as friends.” Ingrid’s in.
Okay, this doesn’t technically happen this episode, but this picture made me laugh. Ingrid, what a big book you have!
Freddy’s at the bar when, you guys, guess who shows up? SPIKE! My buddy James Marsters casts a spell, making Freddy’s head hit the table as his veins pop, and I don’t even care because I’m so excited to see him. He’s here to help Freddy complete his mission and bring back the king. Seems Spike was also friends with Jo and Victor back in the day, and has been living in Paris for 400 years — except for when he was in Sunnydale pining over Buffy, of course (I can’t stop. Please don’t make me.). Freddy’s apparently looking for a host, which is what the mandragora was helping with. Spike gives Freddy a potion for the too-powerful Jo, which will weaken her, so she won’t be able to thwart their dastardly plan. And then Freddy can take Ingrid and Freya back to Asgard with him. (So, he wants to be with his sisters forever, but he didn’t care that the mandragora was violating Ingrid? Not cool, Freddy. Not cool.)
I know, I know, he looks different now. But he’ll always be Spike to me.
Wendy’s been mysteriously invited to the benefit. The featured artist is Seamus, who Jo all of the sudden has all sorts of opinions about because she’s an art teacher. (Sure!) Freya doesn’t care, she just wants to be Wendy’s plus one.
Wendy’s gussied with a killer dress that shows off her midriff. She looks amazing, but it’s a little revealing for a black-tie affair, no? I am an old lady. I’ll see myself out.
I’m with you, Jo.
Ingrid shows up to perform that age-old trick of asking your bestie if you can date her ex, only you don’t actually expect her to say no? Except Freya says no. Ingrid insists she and Dash are just friends, but Freya points out how weird Dash has been lately — and she doesn’t even know about the murdering! Ingrid storms out, she’s going anyway.
Killian’s finally out of bed, but don’t worry, he’s still shirtless. A mysterious note on the bathroom mirror tells him not to trust Eva, and to check his phone. Okay! Eva heads out to pick up some dinner and once she’s gone, Killian locks the door and rushes to his phone. It’s a video. Of himself warning … himself about Eva, and how he doesn’t love her, he loves Freya. Trippy!
At the benefit, Dash swoons over Ingrid. Fine, it’s pretty cute.
Doesn’t look like “just friends” to me!
Wendy and Freya are at the benefit, both looking smoking. Wendy thinks the paintings look familiar … because they look like Wendy! If anyone deserves an art show, it’s certainly her. A grinning dude in a tux introduces himself, he’s Ronan, Wendy’s husband. Apparently they’re exes. Three times over. (This is a soap opera, after all.) Of course, Ronan is Seamus, the artist. The show is his love letter to Wendy: he wants her back.
It’s dinnertime at the Beauchamp house, with Caroline, Jo and Freddy. Caroline is embarrassed about flashing Jo. There’s a knock at the door … it’s Spike! He’s ostensibly here to pay his condolences about Victor.
Dash and Ingrid are having fun at the benefit while Freya glowers. They are being adorable, Freya, deal with it. (Also I like how Ingrid doesn’t notice that all the art looks like Wendy. Apparently she is love blind.) But oh! Look who’s also at the benefit, it’s the blackmailer’s dad — remember when Dash killed the blackmailer and Ingrid helped him cover it up, yes? — well he’s onto Dash, big time. Dash lies to Ingrid that he’s worried about a patient and rushes off. He heads outside and he and Blackmailer Dad argue some more. Then Dash magicks him into a fatal heart attack. Dash!
Back at dinner, amidst reminiscences, Jo finishes her wine. Spike awkwardly suggests that Freddy get his mother another glass. He pours the potion into Jo’s glass. Freddy! Bad boy. Jo gives a gorgeous toast about how she’s always been praying and thinking of her son. As they clink goblets, Freddy smashes the glass to keep her from drinking the potion. Spike pockets a gigantic knife.
Killian is ransacking the apartment when Eva returns. Unperturbed, she cuts her palm and throws her blood in his face. He falls to the floor and screams as she drugs him. Voila! He’s suddenly super into her again.
So this happens.
Wendy and Ronan are about to get it on, but Wendy comes to her senses and chooses Tommy. Turns out Ronan-as-Seamus has been including a strand of her hair in each painting, and her magic is what makes the art so popular and expensive. Dude can’t even paint. Could he … have some more hair? Wendy is not amused.
Spike is fondling his knife (not a euphemism) as he goes to comfort Jo. He steals a strand of her hair, then offers to stay in town awhile.
The benefit is over and Dash is sad. He lies to Ingrid, telling her that while it was Blackmailer Daddy, he didn’t suspect anything. Ingrid, continuing her terrible taste in men, reassures him. They kiss!
An unhappy Spike and Freddy confab. Freddy won’t harm his mother. Apparently Freddy is the king’s vessel — he’s carrying bad granddad inside his scar? Okay! Spike tries to cut it out of him, but it doesn’t work. Freddy has a plan, but he warns Spike to not hurt Jo. It’s a little murky, I’m not going to lie.
Until next week! Maybe someone else from Sunnydale will show up?
What did you think of last night's ep? Are you rooting for more former Buffy actor cameos? You can more Witches of East End recaps here.