Pounded By Chuck Tingle's Mask on His @midnight Appearance

Earlier this week we reported that erotica author and Hugo Award nominee Chuck Tingle would appear on @midnight with Chris Hardwick. Last night was the big night and after a quick power nap I turned on Comedy Central and prepared to be blown away.

The show opens with the night's guests: Wil Wheaton, Heather Anne Campbell and Drew Carey, stationed at their podiums. Wait, Drew Carey? Where is Colton Dunn? What is even happening right now?

Finally Chris Hardwick takes pity on us and announces that Chuck Tingle is here. Yes, finally! This is the moment I have forced myself to stay awake for!

The camera cuts to a back room where a masked (!) Chuck Tingle will write a novella with the help of two unpaid interns.

I admit. I did see this coming, but that did not make me any less disappointed. At least now I know Chuck Tingle is not Wil Wheaton (though they sure do seem to be chummy!).

Of course, Chuck is not just writing any old story. The title of his novella was selected by Twitter poll. I was ecstatic to see that the title I voted for won— "Pounded in the Butt by the Poll to Decide Which Tingler I Write." There's no word yet as to whether or not this title will be available to purchase.

Back to the unpaid interns, who are a couple of super sexy buckaroos. One is a T-Rex (whom Heather Anne Campbell gleefully renamed D-Rex, tee hee) with a six pack and the other is a very muscular and deliciously green Frankenstein. They are clearly vying to be cover models on one of the erotica master's next novellas, plus they are providing sexy inspiration for the tingler.

Later we are introduced to another special guest— John DiMaggio, voice of Bender on Futurama! John stopped by to perform a dramatic reading of the first few paragraph's of Chuck's new novella. Imagine, if you will, the following line read by the gravelly voice of Bender:

"There is no denying now that this handsome living poll is hot to trot."

Bender high five
source: imgur.com

Better still, at the end of the show, the audience and everyone watching at home had an opportunity to pen the last line of Chuck's novella, then submit it for consideration. A heated debate on the correct pronunciation of acronym "GIF" inspired the winning sentence: "Chris Hardwick pulled me into a throbbing embrace and said, "I've been wrong the whole time ... it's pronounced 'JIF'." Chris Hardwick was quick to blame guest Wil Wheaton for the submission, and I am inclined to agree that Wheaton was acting impishly.

Though we still don't know the true identity of erotica author Dr. Chuck Tingle, it hasn't changed the way we feel about his dedication to proving love. If you'd like to watch a masked Chuck read his new novella aloud, you can check out @midnight's Facebook live video below. You can also purchase Chuck's novella, "Hard For Hardwick: Pounded In The Butt By The Physical Manifestation Of My Own Handsome Late Night Comedy Show" on Amazon.